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When we start thinking about dating around, we set the bar REALLY high. That’s a major reason why so many people think of dating a new person as being a lot of work. The truth is: high expectations can set you up for failure. But dating really can be fun again if you’ll let go and try to change your perspective.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t go on a date with some great expectations. After all, you deserve to find the person that’s right for you. But dating isn’t much fun if you have to prepare yourself for disappointment every time you go on a date. There’s almost no way the person you’re about to meet will be what you want them to be.
The first way to temper your expectations is this: Don’t expect the next person you date to ultimately be your future spouse. It would be nice and lovely for that to be the case, but sometimes we have to meet several people and learn several things about who we are and what we want before the right person actually comes along.
Thoughts of marriage shouldn’t really enter into dating until you’ve been seeing the same person for a long enough time to really know and understand them. If you put the pressure of marriage on too soon, the person could run away because they don’t know you enough to even want to take that big leap with you.
And even worse, if you’re so blinded by this person being a potential spouse that you start to ignore red flags, you could actually end up marrying them and ultimately getting divorced. Divorce isn’t the worst thing in the world to happen to anyone, but it is a very time-consuming and painful mess.
Another way to temper your expectations is to get to know someone without checking any boxes off on your list. Maybe you want a really tall guy, for example. But the person you go on your next date with is on the short side. Don’t turn your back on him right away because he could be perfect in every other way.
Along with that, the best way to temper your expectations is to treat others how you want to be treated. With that comes the understanding that we are not perfect. We cannot spend the rest of our lives looking for perfect. If you’re looking for a man who’s truly perfect (and you don’t believe in Jesus…), you will never, ever, ever, and we mean EVER find him!
Someone may never ask you our ever again as soon as they find out you’re not perfect. How does this make you feel? Now, keep that answer in mind when you meet someone new. And give that person a chance to show you qualities that you might actually like enough to keep them around.
Instead of focusing on your list, focus on having fun. The rest should follow quite naturally.