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After a breakup, everything in the world can seem bleak and depressing. The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal reaction and it will pass. Anytime anything “bad” happens to us, we go through a period of grieving. A breakup is no exception. But the good news is that you will get over your breakup!
When a relationship ends, you have a sense of loss. There’s the loss of a person from your life who you’ve spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person is now gone, and it’s common to think you’ll never have or even want that with another person. Breaking up can honestly feel like the end of the world.
But it’s not! You need to put your ex in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn’t easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible.
There’s tons of advice on how to deal with a breakup. You’ll read everything from “burn all your pictures” to “get back on the horse and find another relationship.” Ultimately, you have to find which approach is best for you Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn’t feel right.
Give yourself permission to feel sad at first. Whenever you experience a loss, you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending:
- Denial is the first stage. It’s that feeling of, “This can’t be happening!”
- Pain and guilt quickly set in after the shock and denial start to fade.
- Anger and “bargaining” come next. If I do this or don’t do that, maybe we can get back together. But it doesn’t work that way.
- Depression and loneliness set in once it’s clear that bargaining won’t change the way things are now.
- Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.
- The last stage of grief after a breakup (or any loss, really) is acceptance, and hope for a better future.
Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order. You might never start bargaining, especially if you know it’s really and truly over. But most people’s grief process will follow this general pattern. It’s important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you’ve gotten past it.
Try to put your breakup into perspective and remember that you’ll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too. Once you get there, your heart will quickly heal <3
Got any other words of encouragement to add? Let us know in the comments!