Are You On The Same Page

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A big part of the difficulty in moving from a casual dating situationship into a committed relationship is knowing are you on the same page.

There are times when some people are simply enjoying the fun, casual dating scene. It allows them to enjoy themselves and go out on a non-serious level, all while they’ve got a great friend at their sides.

Unfortunately when one partner becomes more serious than the other, it can lead to problems.

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Too Deep, Too Soon

In many cases, the woman in the relationship can sometimes tend to want some form of commitment sooner than the guy does. This isn’t always the case, but it happens often. Women want to know that their casual partner is feeling the same strong feelings as she is. So they begin trying to push their partner into admitting what feelings might be developing.

The unfortunate part about this kind of behavior is that some men can become seriously turned off by this kind of needy reassurance from a woman he thought was just hanging out and having some fun with.

This is the phase of any relationship where everyone is still figuring out whether the person they’re dating casually will be suitable for a long term relationship or not. Pushing a person to spend more time with you or to contact you more frequently can be seen as a sign of insecurity or desperation. Neither of these is an attractive quality in a long-term relationship.

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By trying to move things forward too quickly, you risk losing a partner before he or she is ready to take that next step.

Constant Contact

The problem with instant communication is that it’s very easy to fall into a pattern of wanting to contact the person you’re dating more frequently than you otherwise might do.

The temptation to send text messages or emails or instant messages over the internet simply to reach out and connect with this person can be overwhelming.

Of course, when you don’t receive an instant reply, it’s also tempting to start worrying that something is wrong or that maybe he’s changed his mind about you.

When you’re in a casual dating situation, always remember that your partner is still developing feelings. He or she is still figuring out whether or not he wants to lose his ‘independent’ lifestyle.

The more you pressure him for contact, the more likely he’ll feel pressured or suffocated. He may just decide that single life is more attractive.

However, if you keep communication light and fun between you during this phase, he’ll understand that you are happy for him to still have his own interests. Most men will happily begin to include you in more of his life if you give them the CHOICE.

So if you’re still trying to figure out are you on the same page with your SO, it’s a good idea to talk it out, but in a way that doesn’t create toxicity. force, or unrealistic expectations.

Have you ever discovered that you and your partner weren’t on the same page about something important? What did you do? Let us know about it in the comments below!

By Emily Kato

Emily Kato is a Make Him Yours XO contributor based in Boston, MA.

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