I'm Still In Love, My Ex Isn't

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“I’m still in love, my ex isn’t.” Yikes. This is a difficult situation. A situation many of us have been through. But you have to dig into the validity of it and address how you feel about the possibility that this is true before you take it for granted.

First of all, you don’t really know that your ex is over you. Your ex may have claimed to not love you anymore, and that’s possible. Or, they may have already found a replacement for you. But it’s also possible that they still harbor feelings for you. Many couples who still love each other break up for other reasons.

If you can honestly say, ‘I’m still in love my ex’, there’s a chance your ex can say them same. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea to try to get back together. You broke up for a reason, even if you didn’t want to break up. Really think hard about things. It’s rare that a person can’t think back and see reasons why the break-up might be for the best. It isn’t always easy right at first when you’re still emotionally raw. But with time, you’ll probably see that the break-up might even be good for you.

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If the break-up was mutual and now you’re having a hard time because you miss them, it’s even more important that you examine why you agreed to the break-up in the first place. Yes, there is a chance that you made a mistake by splitting. But if you’ll really look back at the reasons you both had for ending the relationship, you might find that it’s better to love your ex from afar and work through the sadness rather than try to rekindle the romance.

Maybe your ex wants to get back together. While this might make you feel very hopeful that the two of you might be able to work things out and live happily ever after, don’t be fooled into thinking that it’ll be easy. The reasons you broke up are still there. If you get back together, what will change? Your relationship might go well for a little while because you’re both so happy to be back together. But eventually, the same cracks with show.

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You’ll go through a honeymoon period just as you did when you were a new couple. You’ll both feel like you saved the relationship and kept each other from making a horrible mistake. But that feel-good honeymoon period will wear off eventually. And then what will you do? You guessed it: break up again.

How are you going to prevent the problems that caused you to break up in the first place from coming back and making you want to part ways again? Couples counseling is a good option for this, but some people just aren’t meant to work.

But if you’re thinking, “I’m still in love, my ex isn’t, and I want them back,” couple’s counseling won’t help you with this. If they’ve moved on completely, and you know this for sure, you should move on, too.

Got something to say? Let us know in the comments!

By Amanda Lynn

Amanda Lynn is a Make Him Yours XO contributor based in Atlanta, GA.

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