Is It Love Or Just Infatuation?

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One of the most difficult questions to answer, it seems, is whether or not you’re in love with someone. Is it love or is it just infatuation? There’s a reason this is such a hard question to answer. It’s because the signs of love and infatuation are almost interchangeable. At least, they seem that way. But, as time goes on it becomes easier to tell the difference.

Starting with the very first meeting, you both will feel a strong pull towards each other. That’s easily identified as attraction. As you talk, this attraction becomes stronger. You want to spend as much time as you can with this person. You keep going on dates, which leads to even more of a pull. This is where things get a bit tricky.

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Suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about this person. Nothing else really interests. It’s almost like you have a mild case of the flu. That’s why it’s called “lovesick.” When your phone rings, you jump at the idea that it might be him! If it turns out to be someone else, your heart plummets a little bit. (Even if it’s your bestie.)

Taking it further, when you know you’re going to see this person, your hands are sweaty. You start to get nervous. You check your look in the mirror over and over again.

This is also the stage when everything this other person does is cute. It doesn’t matter if his table manners are atrocious or her laugh is actually a little obnoxious. These are the traits of your current beloved and there has never been a more perfect person. The two of you can’t stand to be apart. You never run out of things to talk about, and you can’t keep your hands off of each other.

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Now, up to this point, these symptoms may simply mean that you’re infatuated with each other. Or it could, indeed, be true love. Give this stage about six weeks to a full two months. If his ability to belch the entire alphabet has lost its impressiveness or her constantly interrupting you in the middle of talking is no longer charming, this might be the beginning of the end. Suddenly, you can stand to be away from each other for days at a time. This may mean that things are starting to settle down a bit. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re not in love. But it does show that you’ve moved out of that “honeymoon” phase.

The true difference between infatuation and love is that even after you’ve stopped thinking everything each other does is cute and wonderful, you still want to be together. If that’s the case for you, for instance, you just might be in love. If instead you find each other insufferable at this point, it was just infatuation.

Are you lovesick? Or is he just fine? Let us know in the comments below!

By Sarah Quinn

Sarah Quinn is a Make Him Yours XO contributor based in Oakland, CA.

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