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Of all the relationships that you’ll ever have in your life, the most important one is the relationship that you have with yourself. This is because how you feel about yourself is going to reflect in every other relationship you’ll have. If you have bad feelings about yourself, the chances are good that you’ll have a hard time being in a loving relationship. Those negative feelings will show themselves in the way you conduct yourself in your relationships. Those feelings may also be put onto your partners. You have to love yourself first before you can fully love someone else.
If you’re having some issues with loving yourself, there are some ways that you can push that along. First of all, learn the definition of self-respect. When you respect yourself, you’ll make sure that others adhere to the boundaries that you’ve set for yourself. As long as you allow everyone to cross those boundaries, people are always going to take advantage of you. Being taken advantage of produces feelings of hurtfulness and humiliation. You don’t need that in your life.
Realize that you’re a valuable and worthwhile human being.
When you let yourself be berated and trod upon by others, you develop a sense of being worthless. Never let anyone tell you that you’re stupid, dumb or unimportant. If you constantly allow this from people, eventually you’ll start to believe what they say is true.
It nibbles away at your self-confidence and self-esteem until you actually believe that you don’t deserve anyone or anything good in your life. You end up settling for the WORST people when you’re in this state of mind. Don’t do that to yourself.
So many women in abusive relationships are there because they continue to allow others to make them believe that they belonged in those types of relationships. They believe they deserve this treatment. They deserve it. In spite of what you may believe, that’s not love. The man that will treat his wife or girlfriend that way does not love her. He loves to control her. Nor does he respect her. Don’t involve yourself in this sick and twisted type of situation.
If you find that you have these feelings of worthlessness, you must work to fix that. Seek professional help if you must. These are feelings of a damaged, broken individual.
And the person(s) responsible for treating you so badly that you do view yourself this way needs more help than you do. They need to learn the damage they’ve caused and they need to do better.
Ultimately, you must do whatever you must to love yourself first. It’s the only way you’ll ever have a happy and successful relationship with anyone else.
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