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When you’ve been dating someone for a while and the initial fascination has worn off, a little bit, you may be wondering if you made the right decision getting involved with him. It’s at this stage that many women will ask the question: is my boyfriend a good match for me? The sooner you have the answer to this question the better, especially if you and your boyfriend are planning to get more serious.
Here are a few things you should think about that will help you determine how compatible the two of you really are:
- You should ask him! But not this question directly. Talk with your boyfriend and ask questions about his values. Don’t make this seem like some sort of interrogation, but rather a normal conversation. Listen carefully to his answers. Don’t tell him he’s wrong or give any indication that you don’t agree with something he says. No matter how badly you want things to work out, you’re better off facing the truth. Don’t try to get him to say what you want him to say.
While no couple is going to agree on everything, and some differences can make the relationship more interesting, you do want a consensus on the big issues. For example, if you know that you want to have kids, you need to be with someone who also wants kids. If that isn’t your boyfriend, then he’s not for you.
While one of you might give in, it’s very likely that that will cause friction in the future. You’re better off finding someone who simply wants the same thing you do. This can save both of you a lot of pain.
- Do the two of you share similar views on how best to raise your kids, assuming you want to have kids? Again, this may sound fairly insignificant, but it’s not. The last thing you want to do is find out that you are completely opposite in what approach you think is best when it comes to raising kids.
- What about money? Do you have congruent beliefs about how best to use your money and how and when you should use credit? Finances are one of the biggest things couples clash over.
- Do you agree on how money should be divided in a marriage? Should you each have your own account and just pool money for the household bills and savings. Or, do you pool all your money in a joint account? Who is responsible for the bills. Will you do them together or do you think one person should be in charge of all household finances?
These questions don’t have to be asked all at once like an interview. But it is important for both of you to have an idea of where the other stands on these and many other important lifestyle decisions. Knowing the answer to these questions will make answering the question “Is my boyfriend a good match for me?” much easier.
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